All I ever wanted
by Elienora
Summary: "You said that you loved me even when i was being annoying. Why are you lying there so quiet and not moving?" "You promised me to return safely.. You said how you wanted to revive the clan together with me..." "You broke your promise to me, Sasuke." "Please... Sasuke!" Rated M for mature content, Self harm and abuse and topic of depression


A/N: Hey all, just a fair warning that this might be tear-jerking. Forgive me if I do not update regularly and hope you guys enjoy this short story about my favourite couple in Naruto.

 **Title:** All I ever wanted.

 **Summary:** "You said that you loved me even when i was being annoying. Why are you lying there so quiet and not moving?" "You promised me to return safely... You said how you wanted to revive the clan together with me..." "You broke your promise to me, Sasuke." "Please... Sasuke!"

 **Rated:** M for some sexual references and angst

 **Pairing:** Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Gaara

 **Chapter One: The first day**

Sakura Haruno was absolutely delighted when her long time crush, Sasuke Uchiha had returned to the village permanently. It was something that everyone around her know, it was something that had started ever since when they were still kids and back in the academy. Over the years, Sakura had learned what love was exactly, hearing many stories from her teacher, the fifth Hokage Tsunade and her sensei Kakashi. She was no longer the young kid that she was from before, she did not need to hide behind her teammates any longer and was respected in the village and across the lands due to the skills that were taught to her by Tsunade.

She watched as Sasuke Uchiha walked in with a stoic expression that everyone was used to and immediately a figure launched itself onto the said male. "Dobe! Get off me!" Sasuke mumbled in menacing tone but his eyes had betrayed him and shown relief and joy which was not something that was always seen. "Teme! I missed you! We all missed you!" The said figure got up and Sakura snickered seeing that it was one of her teammates, Naruto.

 _Naruto the village hero… the training Hokage and most importantly, family._ Sakura thought sadly remembering about her own parents that had died in the war. Sakura then turned away from the spectacle, trying to control the emotions that were overwhelming her and on reflex she touched her wrist, trying to control the shaking.

"Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi, I just remembered something that I have to do. I will catch you all later." Sakura turned giving them a wide smile before doing the proper hand signs to teleport away from the main gate.

She landed in the middle of the living room in her apartment that felt too cold to be called a home. There were the basic necessities that she needed and nothing else except for five picture frames that were hung up on the plain wall leading to her bedroom. The first was a picture of the old Team Seven having Naruto, Her, Sasuke and Kakashi. The second picture was of Yamato, Her, Naruto and Sai. The third picture was of her and her best friend Ino. When Sasuke had left, the rivalry between the girls had disappeared and they went back to being very good friends. The fourth picture was of her and Tsunade taken during her promotion to Jounin along with Shizune beside her. They were all smiling brightly in the picture. Unconsciously, Sakura had reached out her hand to touch the frame holding the picture and caressing where her teacher had stood with a bright smile on her face and wearing her Hokage cape and hat. Sakura then turned to the last image, it was of her with her parents flanking her left and right.

Sakura's lips quivered and she could feel how her cheeks were wet. _I'm crying again, ain't I?_ Sakura thought out with a small smile appearing on her face. It just felt weird not hearing the other her inside her head replying her and answering her. Ever since the passing of her teacher along with her parents, her other mind the one that Ino had faced personally back during the Chunin exams was gone.

"I'll always be alone, won't I?" Sakura laughed as tears trailed down her cheeks. She picked up the kunai that laid on the dressing table, her finger ghosting over the sharp and glistening blade. She pulled down the wrist band that she constantly wore, revealing the criss-cross cuts and lines on her wrist. Some fade and some red, raw and very new. She smiled as she pushed the blade against her wrist and dragged downwards quickly.

She gave a small gasp as the pain shot throughout her body and blood welt out from the open wound. She was a medic ninja, she could have healed all the cuts on her wrist but she chose not to. The pain was a reminder… _A reminder that I am still alive and breathing. A reminder that I failed to protect those that I loved…_ the sentence continued inside her head.

 _I deserve the pain…. The pain reminds me of my failure… I failed to protect my parents… I failed to save my teacher… I failed everyone… I do not deserve to die… I have to atone for my mistakes by being alive and in agony for the rest of my existence._

Sakura laughed dropping the kunai onto the ground, the pain was something that she had gotten extremely used to. Not even her teacher knew about her addiction for cutting. She was a cutter… Ever since she watched how she was weak and the one that has to be protected always.

She gathered Chakra in her right hand and held it over the wound, stopping the blood but not healing the wound. She pulled out the dresser and took out a bottle of pills. _Temazepam (Restoril), also known as sleeping pills._ She poured for herself a glass of water from the jug on the stand close to her bed and popped the pills in before lying down.

 _She watched how Tsunade's youth was living her body revealing the wrinkles and saggy skin underneath that was of her true age. She screamed pumping chakra into the body, trying to close the wound on her chest and trying to kick-start her heart that had stopped moments ago._

" _Shisou!" She screamed gathering even more Chakra trying to force start the heart._

" _No… No! You can't leave me like this! Shisou, Wake up!" She cried as the tears flowed down her cheeks, taking with them along the grime on her face._

 _She could feel how her Chakra was depleting fast and her reserves were getting low but it was not enough to stop her. She pumped all her Chakra into the body trying to mend the tissues and generating electricity to restart her heart. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned quickly to see who was trying to stop her from saving her teacher._

" _Sakura… It's enough. You can stop now." Kakashi whispered softly._

" _I can't! She is waiting for me to save her!" She turned to face the body infront of her once more and pushed more of her Chakra._

" _Sakura… Sakura! Look at me! She's dead!" Kakashi grabbed her forcefully and turned her around to face him._

" _Kakashi! Please! I need to…!" She screamed trying to push Kakashi away._

" _Sakura..." Kakashi pulled her into his embrace and a second later, Sakura broke down immediately and started crying._

" _She…She's dead…" Sakura whispered softly after hours of crying in Kakashi's arms._

 _Soon it was the day of Tsunade's funeral. Sakura took infront watching how the coffin that laid her teacher's body. She turned to see everyone having a stoic expression and some were sobbing. Sakura felt so empty. She watched blankly as everyone took turns placing flowers on the coffin. She had been the second to place due to how she was the Fifth Hokage's apprentice. The first had been Shizune that was crying in the arms of one of the Jounin, Gemma was it? She could not remember anymore._

" _You are just a weakling! You could not even save her!" a voice shouted and Sakura winced._

" _And you call yourself her apprentice. What a sick joke! You can't even save your parents!"_

" _A weakling! You don't deserved to be a shinobi! You're a sorry excuse for a medic!"_

" _You can't save anyone! You could not do anything! What a loser!"_

 _Faces gathered around Sakura and she watched how everyone was taunting her, cussing her. Naruto.. Hinata… Ino… Everyone was pointing their fingers at her calling her weak. Even Kakashi sensei that shook his head at her._

 _Sakura screamed when she saw Tsunade standing infront of her._

Sakura sat up from the bed panting and gasping for air as sweat broke out on her body. She sobbed holding her knees close to her chest as the sentence Tsunade murmured repeated inside her head.

 _You are weak._


End file.
